Why it really happened
by Sen and Mai
Summary: A lost love, a stolen baby, and a world war on the brink... Well... maybe. It's all in a days work for Jareths twins. Read our introduction story so we can figure out how to post the rest of this mess Review NOW! or else the little devil goblins will get
1. Default Chapter

Warning: There are some racial comments in this story, and we just want to tell you that we do not wish to offend any one, it is just for some comedy, we don't mean anything harsh or anything... promise. I mean, I should know... I am a flame dame...

Disclaimer: We do not own the Labyrinth, nor the characters in it. We acknowledge the creators of the Labyrinth. Sen, Mai, Nana, Grandpa Tyron, the Dark Fey, the man-twins in the second story, and a few other character are our own creation, but no one else!

Why it really happened

Long ago, in a kingdom of fantasy and make believe, a King of Goblins reigned with an iron fist. He was cruel, heartless, and without mercy, for inside his chest laid a heart of stone. He had no thought but for himself. This is why his marriage was so frought with unhappiness.

The Fae princess he had married was once a vibrant girl, with stars in her eyes and love in her heart. But as the years slowly went by, and the King refused to treat the princess with no more than contempt, the girls eyes slowly became jaded, and her heart turned to hate.

Until one day she could take no more, seduced one of the guards, and fled. The King went into a rage, for though he never loved her she was still his. And no one took what was his. He sent his minions throughout the seven dimensions, endlessly looking for her and her lover. Until he grew weary of the search, and his rage turned to a cold hatred. From that day on the King swore never to marry again, for what was the use when you were only betrayed?

Unknown to the King, the princess had given birth. On that day two little girls one with fiery locks and emerald eyes, and the other with wild blonde hair and light amber eyes were born. Both were unique, and both were heirs to the Goblin Throne. When the doctors informed the Queens lover they where not his, he flew into a rage and killed her, leaving the babes in the hands of the two doctors who had brought them into this world.

Author's note: Hi y'all! Mai here, with Sen! We just wanted y'all to know, that we will be speaking to y'all after each chapter thingy even if we don't have anything interesting to say, and just so y'all know we are insane. It's a fact, so deal with it. P.S: The Sen and Mai in the story are the carbon-copies of us. Except for the whole, Jareth is ugly shit. We REALLY think he's hot!!!!! Grrr, baby, ggrrrr!

Chapter One: To be killed, or not to be killed?

Glare looked at the two babes nestled next to each other. "The price we could get if we ransomed them." He said greedily.

Tare looked at his comrade in astonishment. "Are you insane? Do you know who their father is?" He whispered furiously.

Glare nodded, the greedy look in his eyes growing. "Yes, he's the richest King in all the Underground, next to the High King."

Tare slapped his forehead. "Yeah, and he's also the most spiteful. Do you have any idea what he'll do to us?" He leaned into his partner and whispered a few things into the Fae's ears.

Glare gulped and broke out into a sweat. "He-he wouldn't." he said weakly.

Tare nodded. "Oh yes he would, and to top it off he would send your genitalia to your family." He said simply.

Glare leaped away from the babes, and ran through the door yelling behind him, "You take them to his Royal Bitchiness! I don't want my balls torn off and forced down my throat!"

Tare glared at the spot Glare had once stood. "That ass! He leaves me with all the hard jobs!" Tare sighed and looked at the two girls. He gulped as he was confronted with their amused stares. It was eerie how intelligent they seemed to be.

Tare shrugged and picked each babe up. Looking at the two he smiled. "Don't worry little princesses; I'll get you to your father." Under his breath he whispered, "I just hope he doesn't kill you."

The only answer he got was the two little imps' laughter, as if they knew the King wouldn't harm them. And that he was an idiot even thinking it.

Jareth, King of the Goblins, High Prince of the Underground, looked incredulously at the two little bundles in front of him. "What mockery is this?" He demanded of the hunched goblin cowering in front of him.

"Theys come on di front door, sire. The note said teh were yours." The goblin, Treal, explained.

Jareth sighed. "Well, I don't want them, send them to the Bog." He said absently.

A whirl of glitter erupted in the throne room. "JARETH!" Erupted form the whirlwind of glitter.

Jareth cringed. "Hello mother." He said, resigned.

Before him stood a tall woman with sweeping silver-white hair, pale blue eyes, with an extremely pissed look on her face. "Hello, idiot spawn! What do you think you are doing?" She demanded.

"I believe I am disposing of unwanted baggage." He was immediately struck by a solid object, the shape of which he did not want to think of.

"You did NOT just say that." His mother said angrily, gesturing a finger in front of his face.

Jareth sighed, and soothed his aching cheek. "What else would you have me do Mother?" He asked, knowing he would not like the answer.

He was right by the grin that broke out on her face. "I would have you take my GRANDBABIES to their chambers to be changed!" She said evilly. "By you."

Jareth growled. "Why? They're not even mine." He said.

"Well," She picked up the fiery haired babe; turning her in her arms she exposed her derrière. "See? She has your birthmark upon her ass, just where yours is." She said smugly.

Several goblins started snickering at the thought of their king's bare ass.

Jareth looked upon the ass that had doomed him to a life of fatherhood. "Damnitt!" He exclaimed, grudgingly taking the babe from his mother's arms.

Matilda looked at her spawn contently, and handed him the other babe. Who then proceeded to tug on his hair. "Now go give Sen and Mai a change, they smell positively foul." She said serenely at the look her spawn had sent her.

Jareth just grumbled, but a small giggle turned his attention to the two passengers he carried. "Sen and Mai, eh?" He said speculatively. He decided that the names suited the little brats.

The little red-hair looked at him and smiled. "Dada." She said as she promptly threw up on him. The warm trickle on his other side, informed him that they weren't wearing diapers.

As her spawn whisked his daughters away, Matilda laughed. "Oh yes, they will defiantly keep my idiot spawn in line." Her smile grew as she thought, 'And help me find someone to kick my idiot spawns ass into love.'

Author's Note: We love our NANNA!!!! Shit yeah, saving our asses by exposing them, now tell me y'all wouldn't want your nanna to do that for youse. My question is how she got a glimpse of our asses to begin with...but no one will ever know! Beyond her, and maybe Grandpa Tyron...if he doesn't blow up the story....bloody pyros.

Chapter Two: The Twins all grown up

"You GIANT ASS!" Sen's voice ran throughout the Labyrinth, leaving all of its inhabitants quivering in fear. That sound meant only one thing; Sen and the King were fighting...again.

Mai sighed as she took in the scene before her. Jareth, their "loving" father, stood with his blonde hair up in a quiver, and a crystal ready to fire in his hand.

Sen was on the other side of the room, her slightly darker hair crackling with anger, and an equally powerful crystal in her hand.

Both looked like drowned cats, possible because each had a recently emptied bucket floating over their heads. That Mai had conveniently placed there. "Will you two cut it out?" She asked, blowing a stray bang back into place amidst her fiery locks.

Both "cats" turned their glares of hate on her. "Stay out of this Mai." They said in unison. Then they glared at each other and spat, "Don't tell her what to do!"

They then proceeded to through various objects at the other. A real bitch fest.

Mai swore that if her father hadn't been such a ladies man, he would be a homo.

"I borrow your frilly white shirt once! And you yell at me, hello have you ever heard the Earth term...FAIRY!" Sen yelled.

Jareth growled. "Well excuuuse me miss masculine. I swear you'd be a lesbo if you hadn't been brought up by me!"

"Well at least one person in this family has to be masculine, Mr.-I-have-to-borrow-my-daughters-FAVORITE-purple-tights! And just so you could impress Miss Slut!" She retorted.

"Ohhh...that was a burn." Mai said calmly, popping some popcorn into her mouth.

"Well, it would have worked if you hadn't popped in at the EXACT moment I got her dress off!" He yelled.

Mai's eyebrow rose. "Hmmm, so that's what that scream was." She said thoughtfully.

As she saw her sister's eyes flash, she knew it was time to intervene. Preferably by grabbing said sister and getting the hell out of there!

She quickly blinded Jareth with a breeze of glitter, and when he could see again, both the imps were GONE! "Shit! Every single fucking time." He grumbled as he went to his room to change his soaking clothes. He stiffened as he felt the glitter sneak into a Very uncomfortable place.

Author's Note: Sen here! Just so you know, I actually treat my dad that way...without the crystals...and buckets of water....Mai helps me not blow him up as well. She can't type worth shit, right now she just keeps yelling at the keyboard, because she keeps trying to type fast...ot's not working. Ummmmm...as you can see. Mai in the Back #$& machine $&#&#!) I'm gonna...Sen grabs the ax No, not the keyboard! What about the rest of the story!!!!

Mai sighed as she and Sen appeared in front of their favorite haunt, the Washington Public Library. "Well, that was interesting." She said companionably.

Sen glared at her. "Why the Fuck did you interfere? I was just about to blast his fairy ass!" She said spitefully.

Mai just grinned and dragged her irate sibling into the library. As they ran up the steps, someone collided into them.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." A kind voice apologized from under a stack of books.

Both of the girls sat there in shock as they looked into deep sage eyes. 'Wow.' They both thought in unison.

The girl started fidgeting under their unswerving gaze. "Well, I hope you're o-okay, but I have to go now." She said quickly picking her things up and scurrying away.

Not before Sen had grabbed a piece of the girl's hair. With that the twins looked at each other, and scared the hell out of anyone who witnessed their identical grins.

"So what do ya think?" Mai asked Sen.

Sen's grin was all the answer she needed.

They quickly cast a spell of invisibility and followed the girl. All the while Sen trapped images of the girl along with her hair in her crystal, and sent them to the one person who could manipulate their father more than they could...their Grandmother.

Author's Note: Hehehehe....the beginning, Gods do we love our Nanna. Mooch shut up! Mooch is Sen's skitzo cat who just had a kitten and is freaking out!!!!! Anyway back to Nanna...she's the one who taught us our scheming tricks, and Gramps taught us about the wonders of explosives and fire...we threw in the glitter and crystals!

Matilda yawned as she looked upon her tranquil kingdom. "I have never been so bored in my life." She said unhappily.

A sudden whirring noise, followed by a pop in formed her she had mail. She looked up to see her grandbabies crystal floating inches from her face.

"Well, well. Let's see what the little darlings have for me." She said looking into the orb. Inside she glimpsed a mortal...of breathtaking beauty.

She had long sable locks, deep sage eyes, and a strong will. Her eyes gleamed as she realized why her darlings had sent her this.

She quickly relayed a message to them, via glitter.

The message: "Does she have a little brother?"

Her laughter filled the room. 'Finally, someone who can tame that idiot spawn of mine.' She thought wickedly.

An explosion from the throne room distracted her and she sighed. "Better make sure Tyron hasn't blown up another ambassador." She said wearily.

Author's note...again: See what we mean by Pyro-Gramps....by this time you're probably getting tired of our authors note....well so are we! Screw y'all but read the next post...please...it will get better....we swear....every damn day!

When Matilda returned to her rooms she was swamped with crystal balls, all of which said... 'Where the HELL are you!!!!' in varying degrees of annoyance.

One in particular, buried under the rest, stated... 'Yes, she does have a newborn brother, what of it?'

Matilda just sighed and sent another message. "Exactly, what does your father do for fun?" It said scathingly. She smiled with satisfaction as she sent the glitter storm toward her darling babies.

Author's Note: Masturbate? We hope not...although those tights were stained...Grabs Sen's automatic No Sen, we can't kill him ....yet. we really don't know what he does for fun, though Sen might...she keeps running into him at the worst moments...and he can look at Anyone in those crystals of his...y'know....he might just be watching YOU!!! The author Mai says, "That is one of my greatest fantasies."

Sen sneezed as a virulent gust of glitter flew up her nose! "Why does it always attack me?" She said in annoyance, glaring at her innocent looking twin.

Said twin glared back. "It's certainly better than CRYSTAL SHARDS UP YOUR ASS!" She said in a slightly higher than hospital, voice.

A mother and her child sped quickly past them. The child saying, "Why does one of the pretty ladies looked like Uncle Phil on a bad day?" She said pointing to the still completely soaked Sen.

Said child was about to be whisked to the Bog of Eternal Stench when Mai quickly grabbed her twin and set off towards the retreating figure of Sarah.

"What the hell did the message say?" Sen reminded her twin.

Mai stopped, causing Sen to run into her and for them to collapse in a heap of drenched Fae and glitter. "Oh, that's right." Mai said distractedly.

Sen just glared.

Mai quickly dried her twin off, and read the message. "It says...what exactly does your....ohhhhhh!" Mai said happily, snapping her fingers.

Sens glare just enhanced her smile as she thrust the message under her twins, now dry, nose.

Both twins smiled at each other in unmasked glee.

Mai quickly whipped up another message that stated, "Should she encounter a certain red book?"

Author's Note: YES! Oh YES!!!!....ahem....for those ignorant people, who don't know shit about Labyrinth, the book is the Labyrinth...stupid people, go out and watch the DAMN Movie!!!! We didn't mean that, finish our story and then watch the movie...we love you....really....

Matilda laughed as she read the message. "Why of course my darlings." She sent back, her demonic laughter filling her kingdom with dread.

Tyron looked up from his latest bomb and grinned. That laugh was one of the reasons he had married Matilda. "Got to love a woman with a maniacal laugh, and the scheming mastermind to pull it off." He whispered, unfortunately his bomb didn't like that much and exploded in his face.

Author's Note: Just so you know, Gramps and Nanna still love each other...to death...and we defiantly inherited that maniacal laugh of hers....yeah....we're cool, you're not......Sen takes mike...Now Mai, don't be mean to the readers...they like us after all....Looks at audience with evil gleam in her eye....of persuasion You DO like us...right? Audience quickly nods heads....YES!!!! We love y'all...mistress.

As the twins watched the sullen teenager flop down upon her bed, they smiled as they watched her become enveloped in the majesty of the book, Labyrinth.

"This kicks ass." Sen whispered to her twin.

Mai's evil grin was answering enough as they faded out, on the screams of the teen's step-mother. "Sarah! Get your skinny butt down here! You still have to cook dinner!"

Author's Note: We have nothing to say to that...

As the twins appeared in their room, their father's chuckle stopped them in their tracks. "Now where were you two little miscreants off to?" He asked.

He was still smarting over the glitter up his ass.

The twins just blinked innocently back at him, and said in unison. "We were checking out a book."

Jareth just looked at them, not believing for a moment that they were "just checking out a book". 'Oh well, whatever it is they did, it couldn't harm anything.' He thought abstractly.

Little did he know that those were his famous last words.

Author's Note: Ahh....play on words.....gotta love em....and how stupid is Jareth? He actually thinks WE couldn't harm anything,,,,,watch as we laugh our asses off....ahem....OHOHOHOHHOHOHHOHOHHOOO!!! For those of you who have seen Slayers....remember Naga?

Chapter Three: And so it begins

"Mistress! Mistress!" A tiny black fairy, named Shaft, flew through the Labyrinth. "She is goanna kill me if I don't tell her soon!" He said frantically, his little black trench coat waving behind him.

A little green flash collided into him, and he glared into the deep red eyes of Ping, lady-in-waiting to Her Royal Highness, Mai.

"Watch where you're goin'!" The little pixie said snappishly.

Shaft puffed up. He had never liked the vassal to his Mistress's sister. "And where do you think you're goin' in such a rush?" He sneered.

Ping just humphed and flew off, right in the direction he was going!

"Oh no you don't ya little pest!" he grumbled, flying after her.

Mai and Sen were sitting by the Lake of Tears when their little protégées flew into the clearing.

"Your Highness!" Little Ping exclaimed flying up to her mistress and cuddling up to her ear.

Shaft just hovered near his mistress and exclaimed, "She's gonna say the words!"

Ping glared at him. "You poop! I was gonna tell MY mistress!" She said angrily.

Shaft glared back. "Well to bad, double poop!" He said scathingly.

Ping turned bright red with anger, and with that the 'poop' wars began.

Mai and Sen just laughed and gazed into the crystal Sen had produced, looking on with anticipation as the girl in the crystal said the words that would change her life...forever.

Author's note: Sen came up with the idea of Shaft, because she loves old TV shows. And Shaft is just sexy. I came up with Ping from "Megatokyo" all those who love Largo and B33R scream "Zombies!" Anyway...the poop thing came from Sens actual brothers of whom like to have poop-name calling fights. If ever they get there hands on real poop...run. Just so y'know they are both in their twenties. Gives ya hope for the future, don't it?

As Sarah rushed back into the unlit room, her heart beating rapidly, she knew that her little brother wasn't there.

"Toby? Why aren't you crying?" She whispered flicking the lights switch on than off, than on again.

When not even a huff came from the cradle, Sarah felt a fear like she had never known before. "Toby?" She asked again approaching the cradle with trepidation.

As she reached the cradle, something jumped under the blanket. Sarah started and looked around the room. She could have sworn she heard laughter.

When she reached down and whipped the blanket from the cradle, gasping as her fears were realized. Toby wasn't there.

Author's Note: Toby's with us now little girl!

The giant crystal in front of the couch was hoarded around by anxious munchers. Inside you could see the sorrowful look on Sarah's face. Then in a flash within the crystal the scene changed to one of their father.

"Stop hogging the f'ing popcorn, Shaft! God, for a little guy like you, you eat like an orangutan." Said Mai, fighting over the bowl with the small fey.

Sen grabbed Shaft from mid air and pinned him to her lap.

"Stay!" Sen said menacingly. Shaft whimpered, and the only movement, thereof, was of him shaking.

Nana grabbed a fistful of popcorn and gave it to Shaft and told them to hush, "The best part is coming, you know... the part where she catches his interest."

Author's Note: Ah military upbringing...Mai and Sen treat their friends like Sen treats Shaft! Popcorn is yummy...We like eating it with chopsticks...we especially like caramelcorn...or cheesecorn...yum....yeah.

Within the Crystal....

WARNING: The speech in the ----- lines are the comments of the girls & their Nana watching the whole damn thing. We couldn't figure out who said what, so you just guess, K?

"You're him aren't you? You're the Goblin King." Sarah stated staring at the utterly hot-yeah right!- fey in front of her. His arrogant smirk snapped her out of her faze, "I want my brother back, please, if it's all the same" she said a politely as she could.

"What's said is said," Jareth replied with his little smirk playing on his lips –jackass!-.

Sarah looked at him in the eyes and pleaded, "But I didn't mean it." – yeah! She didn't f'ing mean it, bitch!-

Jareth raised one elegant eyebrow cynically- god, I hate that eyebrow! I want to rip it off! You already did, dear, twice...- "Oh, you didn't?"

Sarah clenched her fist and bit her lip, "Please where is he?"

Jareth looked at her as if she where an idiot- you're one to talk, idiot spawn-, "You know very well where he is."

Sarah bit back tears of frustration, "Please bring him back... please."

Jareth sighed impatiently and looked at her though his bangs, "Sarah, Go back to your room, play with your toys and costumes... Forget about the baby." –You stupid son-of-a-bitch!!! GRRRRRR-

"I can't," She said quietly.

Jareth smiles, he could see she was loosing her will to fight, "I've brought you a gift," –Oh no you din't! Oh, shut up, Shaft!-

This peaked Sarah's interest in to asking hesitantly, "What is it?" –fuck-

Jareth's smile was that of a cat who had just caught the canary, "It's a crystal, nothing more. But if you turn it this way looking through it, it will show you your dreams," he said playing with the crystal with his hand. Doing a fabulous trick –in which he NEVER taught his loving daughter! Hehehe... that was a joke, about the loving part, right?- "But this is not a gift for an ordinary girl who takes care of a screaming baby... Do you want it?" he paused and then continued to say, "Then forget the baby." –NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Toby doesn't want to be forgotten, no he doesn't!! You know... you are really creeping the hell out of me....-

Now that just pissed Sarah off... "I can't . It isn't that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but I want my brother back. He must be so scared." –No he ain't! No offense but your family sucks! Shut up Shaft...-

Jareth, equally pissed at her defiance threatened, "Sarah, Don't defy me, you're no match for me, Sarah." – ohhh, I think someone's panties are in a submissive twist! Umm... Sen, I think those panties are yours... NOT ANYMORE THEY AIN'T!-

Sarah almost growled, but held back and said instead, "But I have to have my brother back."

Jareth pointed at the window and let her see the other side of the mirror... his world, "He's there at my castle... do you still want to look for him?"

Sarah gulped looking at the labyrinth that she had read about so many times before, "Is that the castle beyond the goblin city?" She asked, even though she knew the answer. –well, Duh-

Jareth decided to give this pitiful girl one last chance...-pitiful? Are you stoned? Well, yeah, he is...- "Turn back Sarah, turn back before it's too late."

Gazing into the labyrinth and all of its glory she summoned the courage to say, "I can't, don't you understand that I can't?"

"What a pity" Jareth said, staring at her –ohhh, he is soo into her!!!! We know dear.... Sigh.... We know...-

Sarah lifted her chin in defiance, "It doesn't look that far" –ohhhh, burn, she suggested what he was overcompensating with was too small!!!! HAHAHAHAHA-

Jareth's eye twitched as he crowded her from behind, "It's farther than you think, time is short." He whispered in her ear before stepping back and gesturing towards the clock, "You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth before your baby brother becomes one of us... forever. Such a pity," –pity my ass!- He slowly faded into the background.

Sarah sighed and the straightened up and looked out towards her goal, "The Labyrinth. It doesn't look that hard... Well, come on feet." And she started her journey to get her brother... or so she thought...

–PERFECT..... - - -

Author's Note: This took us so FREAKING long! Because Mai kept having orgasmic moments during the movie. Which we had to watch over again, three times, because she was a useless puddle...while I, Sen, had to write all of the lines...and then transfer them into the story, and fill in the blanks...goddamn sexy Goblin King.....

Chapter Four: And the meddling begins

Mai and Sen sat on one of the walls of the Labyrinth. Staring at Sarah as she argued with the four door-men. Sen snorted in distaste.

"She's going to get the fucking question right... I can't work with her!" She whispered harshly. One of the guards glanced over at her only to meet her deadly eyes as she pulled her finger across her throat in warning.

Mai however was staring in awe at the young mortal, "I couldn't even get that question right... ohhh, she's good." A small smile creped across her lips.

Sen glowered as she watched the scene before her and grumbled, "She even figured out about my damn pigmies."

Mai's eyes lit up with inspiration, "I got it!"

"Got what, exactly?"

Mai turned to her sister, "Ya see... if she gets it wrong, then she gets it wrong.... BUT if she gets it right, she will get it wrong!"

"What the FUCK are talking about, if she gets it right she gets it right! Dumbass...."

Mai sighed with the patience of a monk, "I know, but we can make it wrong if we want to... we can switch which door leads to certain doom and which doesn't.... GET IT NOW???!!!" Maybe not so much patience of a monk, but hey, it was better than Sen.

Sen's eyes dawned in understanding, and then smiled a smile that could literally scare the pants off of Nana. It even had Mai worried; the only way she could respond to that face was to say, "Well, look at the new face of the Goblin Empire..."

Sen nodded and conjured up a crystal ball and popping it open so Mai could insert some of her glitter. Then threw it at the doors like a pro baseball player. The twins smiled as it hit dead on.

The door opened.

Sarah said "I'm getting the hang of this!" right as she fell through the hole in the floor.

The twins laughed wickedly. Walking towards the door they saw the pissed faces of the door-men and turned straight around.

"Now you just wait there princesses!!!!" came the shrill voices of all four of the door-pests.

One of them spoke before they had turned all the way back to face them, "You two also switched our underwear when you switched the doors behind us!"

The other opposite of him said, "No, she didn't."

"Yeah, no we didn't." Sen said with a smug, but slightly stupid, grin on her face.

Mai looked at her and whispered, "Don't talk, Sen, just don't talk. It tells people how dim witted you are."

Sen's glare could singe the underwear off of Satan.

The first doorman started talking again, "I can't stay in HIS underwear. Do you know what he does at night?!"

Mai and Sen both said, "Ew."

Finally Mai changed their underwear back. Sen and Mai started to follow Sarah again... through the pit, to the oubliette.

YEAH! Another one done! Mai and I couldn't seem to figure out how to start this MF! We wanted BADLY to do the magic dance thingy but couldn't think of a way to get there. We compromised that we would start when we started to interfere. It seems to work, though we regret missing vital parts. Just so ya' know, Sen is also dimwitted in real life... she is also a perv... Mai is too, sadly. Maybe that's why we are friends...

We don't know what the doorman does at night, so don't ask, but I know what Mai does... V

Note: Same damn thing we did in the previous chapters.

The terrible clanging of the Cleaners rang loudly as the twins watched on in dawning horror.

"That Mother ...!!! I can't believe he's our father." Mai said.

Sen looked at her twin with admiration. "Wow...but y'know...he can't be our mother AND our father..." The look Mai sent her turned her attention back to the crystal.

"Aren't you supposed to be the calm one?" Sen asked cautiously.

Mai growled. "Blame that on our dear, loving, father..." She said ominously.

Sen looked into the crystal again. "Oh....I get it...damn...grrrr"

"Sen...don't bite the crystal! You're supposed to look through it, not the other way around!" She said calmly.

Sen let the crystal go and turned to her twin, with the light of inspiration in her gold eyes. "What if we..." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Mai grinned. "Ohhh...what an unexpectedly brilliant idea! I knew you had it in you!" She said, and with that the twins turned their attention to their father.

He was sitting upon his bed thinking about the defiant beauty running his Labyrinth. No one, mortal or immortal, had ever dared to defy him like this...girl...had. "Where does she get it?" He asked himself.

Her sage eyes, which held such a sad soul, held in a face sculpted from hardship, framed by locks the color of rich sable. How he yearned to find out if those locks were as silky as he imagined. He frowned. "Imagined? WTF?" He asked himself irritably.

A large heavy object jerked him out of his thoughts...and out of his position.

Suddenly he was looking into the eyes that had haunted him with their defiance.

"Well...this is uhh...interesting." Sarah said hesitantly. –Perfect...just the way we wanted it-

Jareth just stared. She was...straddling him?! "Ummm..." A strange feeling coursed through his veins...it felt almost like...fire?

Sarah blushed. What was he staring at? Then she realized her position. 'Oh...This could be troublesome.' She thought hesitantly.

She tried to scoot off him, very slowly, until his arms came up to wrap around her waist. "Ummm..." She said uncertainly.

Jareth looked at his arms in surprise. "What the..." He looked into her stunned face and grinned sheepishly. "My arms don't seem to be cooperating." He said apologetically.

Sarah froze. 'Did he just...apologize?' She thought spastically.

Jareth also realized what he had just done. 'Did I just...apologize?' He thought incredulously. He definitely didn't like the effect this girl had upon him. "Release me." He snapped.

Sarah reared up. "Release you. RELEASE YOU!" She said angrily. "And who exactly has his ARMS around me! Bill Gates?"-good, they forgot what position they're in...that's always a good start- She asked sarcastically.

Jareth glared. "They wouldn't be around you if you hadn't put a spell on me!"

"Spell? Are you nuts? Hello... me mortal...you Fae...do the math."-Tarzan talk fun-

Jareth frowned. 'She's right...which means...' His thought was cut off as he glimpsed a piece of glitter in the air. 'Those...little...BRATS!' He thought, releasing Sarah, and standing up.

Sarah dropped into his downy, soft bed. 'Kind of like Snuggles.' She thought, before her attention turned back to the furious Goblin King.

He looked at her with cool intent in his mismatched eyes. "Despite your...inexperienced attempt at seduction, you still have a Labyrinth to run." He tossed a crystal at her furious face. "Goodbye...Sarah." He said with just a hint of regret.-Damn it! Wait...why did he...oh shit...the glitter-

Mai and Sen gulped as they turned to face their furious father.

"Hi daddy...I love you." Sen said in a small voice.

Mai glared. "It's not like we didn't give you a chance to be nice. But ya still messed it up, with those DAMN cleaners." She said with righteous anger.

Jareth cocked an eyebrow. "You must have been planning this for a very long time." He said calmly, anger tinged his voice.

Shaft gulped as his Mistress hid behind his small frame. "What are you doin?" He asked, trying to fly away. There was no way he was getting in between a pissed father and his girls... especially Sen.

Ping snorted in disgust at his cowardice, and flew in front of her Mistress.

Sen shoved Shaft under Jareth's nose, holding him like a cross. "Be gone foul BEAST!" She screamed.

Jareth looked...just...looked at her.

Shaft pissed his pants.

Sen quickly dropped him, and wiped her hand down her father's shirt. "Ewwww..." Then she looked up. "Shit. Sorry daddy." She said quickly retreating.

Jareth smiled. 'One down, one to go.' He thought smugly. He turned to his fiery-haired daughter.

Mai returned his glare ten-fold. She wouldn't back down.

Ping just manifested a small ax. She was not letting her Mistress stand alone; unlike Shaft...she was never going to let him live it down.

Jareth waved his hand, and Ping was trapped in an oil lamp. The only thing that could trap a fairy. "So, what shall it be? Glitter or swords?" He asked calmly.

Mai smirked. "Why swords of course." She said confidently.

Jareth nodded, and they were transported to a jousting field.

Mai was garbed in a beautiful silver dress, her long tapered sword shining in the suns brilliance. She looked at her dress in disgust. "Can I have something more aerodynamic, please?" She asked pleasantly.

Jareth shook his head, "No." He then found himself garbed much as his daughter, except the dress was WAY too small.

"I look like a small town whore." He complained.

"Well, I look like Helen fro0m Troy. So let's get started." She said viscously. Immediately their "street clothes" returned, and the fight began.

Sen watched from a cage in the stadium. "Let me out! I'm not a freaking animal!" She then proceeded to knaw on the bars.

The rules were simple...first to draw blood wins...

Unfortunately, Mai had forgotten that Jareth had won the jousting tournament five years in a row. So it was only natural that she formed a cut on her right cheek, without seeing him move.

"Damn." She whispered as she dissipated into the cage.

Jareth smiled as he approached. "You two shall stay in here, and cause no more trouble until this game is done. This I decree."

Sen stopped chewing, just long enough to look at her father "Kiss her for me...won't ya?" She said, and then went back to chewing.

Mai just sighed and sat upon the floor. "Good luck." She said softly.

Jareth ignored Sen, and nodded at Mai. Before he faded out Sen grabbed his attention once more, "At least give us some company! Give us our fairies, you foul Beast!" She said indignantly.

Jareth smirked and complied. Instantly the fairies were in the cage. He left.

Mai growled and tackled Sen to the ground. "You IDIOT!" She yelled into her twin's startled face. "They could have told Nana where we were!"

Sens eyes grew as big as dinner plates. "Oh..."

Author's Notes: FINALLY! Chapter done! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh-oh yeah! Dancing singing in the background. This was hell. Sen smacks Mai. No it wasn't. It just seemed like it. Anyway, BEGONE FOUL BEASTS! Ahem... anyway...we wanted to do some more with the whole "Sarah in the Labyrinth" thing, but decided to go with an alternative. But you'll have to keep reading to find out what that alternative is. Wink wink...

SEN'S RANDOM THINGY

Hi, everyone! Sen here. I'm incredibly board... I went up to visit my brother at college this weekend and I was kind of ditched alone in his dorm room. There is little hot college boys walking around in towels, begging to come home with me (cough, cough) Poor college boys...

Anyway... yeah, I just ordered a pizza, and it isn't here yet... sigh in background the hot towelish boys call –we will make you pizza, my Goddess-

I cut my ugly fake nails off so I can actually type without murdering my keyboard and then having to buy a new one, so yay for me! Mai isn't here and that's sad... I miss her. She should never know this because she will get a teary eyed and say, "You do???" and look at me with those eyes that make me want to rip out her spinal cord and beat her with it, because that is how I show people that I love the, except for Jareth, he is just a bitch and should be told so...

The reason this is so freaking long is that I have nothing else to do, I tried to read and couldn't, I wanted to write more on the fic but can't without Mai... It's boring, so I'm getting my little spark of amusement by writing what I'm thinking and then reading it and calling myself a tard for writing such babble and bobble...

I want to throw a crystal at my brother for um... I don't know... because I want to.....

OOHHH! There's free salsa lessons!!!! Got to go! BYE!!!!!

I'm back again... yeah, this one will be short because I found something to do than annoy you... It's a game called Animal Crossing... it's so addicting it a the fond nickname of Crack..

Anyway... I love y'all and I want to tell you that last night after Salsa the group went out and we did melee (fighting) in the mud for a few hours... it got pretty graphic... but fun... When the shirts started coming off I went to bed... I had seen enough hot man flesh for one night. Love you, Bye! goes off into background droaning –crack...-

END OF SEN'S THINGY

Chapter Five The Deepening.... Ew

"Sen, I told you to stop gnawing on the bars... its been four hours"

"Mai... I've almost got it!" Sen said in a muffled growl.

"Liar..." Mai looked exasperated, "Lets just look in and see what is going on. That might be fun, AND you won't loose your teeth." Mai said with an evil grin.

Sen finally took her mouth off of the drool covered bar and smiled. She conjured up a crystal and they looked in on what was going on with Sarah and her lover boy...

Within the Crystal...

Sarah bit the peach.

-GRRRRRR.... Mai... I think daddy's being a bitch. Yup.-

Dressed in a luscious poof monster of a gown with her hair done perfectly she stood in the ball room of dreams. The ball had just begun. All around her spun beautifully dressed figures with twisted faces.

She was looking for someone she didn't know. And then the music began.

-ohhh good music... ARE YoU StOnEd?-

Glimpses of her love seemed to fade in and out of the twisted confusion of the ball room. Everyone was in her way of full vision... or was it that he didn't want her to see him completely. Then like sand in the dessert the crowed parted and there he stood. As he approached his devilish grin weakened her knees.

He took hold of her –yes yes YES- one of his arms on her perfect hip, the other grasped her hand, interlacing their fingers. Sweeping her into an elegant dance. 'but isn't that Jareth?' a small voice asked her. She frowned just a bit before more of his power intruded into her, but it was too late. She knew something was wrong. 'yes, there is something wrong Sarah... think'

His seductive smile warped into a cool visage. The clock chimed. "No, I know there's something missing."

The dancers crowded in on her as she lost sight of the man she might know. They pushed her into a corner and she turned to look at herself in a curved mirror. She knew this was fake.

She banged on the wall with all her strength and it wouldn't bust. She turned to pick up a chair and she saw a flash a beauty within the ugly masks. He was there. Looking slightly lost and confused but still there.

She turned and smashed the dream. She wouldn't be fooled by that devil of a man. She needed to do something still.

Back in the monkey cage

"YES!!!! He realized that he loves her!!!" Sen screamed.

Mai looked pissed, "No, he didn't, he just drugged her and attempted to have his way with her. I think it's just sad and wrong..."

"But... but" POOF!

Jareth's here...

"Enjoy the show, ladies?" he asked calmly.

"Yes, daddy!" Sen said as if she weren't in a cage... or was she just used to it?

He looked at her in bewilderment... 'is she really that happy?' he asked himself.

Meanwhile Mai was glaring at him with the passion of a thousand virgins playing cellos... that's a lot of passion, "I can't believe you drugged her."

"I didn't" Jareth looked perplexed.

Sen sighed and twirled her hair, "Uh, Duh... yeah ya did... the peach... remember."

"Sen, I'm perfectly capable of remembering what has recently occurred." Jareth said, really wondering if she was that dimwitted, "The peach just enabled her to imagine what she wanted to happen... it was only a magnifier to what she was secretly dreaming about."

"Fucker." They said in unison.

Sen and Mai growled...

Jareth laughed and...

POOF... he was gone.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Um... yeah... Sen is going to be her normal (or abnormal) self in the next chapter.... Just so ya know. Mai is pissed... Sen doesn't get it... what a great story... PS Sen's random thingy has nothing to do with anything, she was just bored so don't go looking for the deeper meaning...

Chapter Six... The end to cradle robbing (Wink wink)

He emerged from the shadows, a dark menace in a world gone upside down.

Sen and Mai looked at each other, horror struck their faces. "Fuck!" They said in unison. Their attention returned to the crystal, as the end drew near.

"I am exhausted from living up to your expectations." Jareth in toned, exhaustion evident in his every move.

The twins perked up. "Maybe he'll win." Mai said worridly.

Sen spat. "No, he'll fuck it up. Just you wait." Sen said menacingly. "And if he does, you owe me ten bucks."

Sarah strode towards the retreating King, confidence was the illusion she was wishing for. 'Why? Why can't I do this?' She asked herself as she started to speak the words.

Mai and Sen looked with trepidation at the young mortal. "She is strong. She can't be strong enough to resist him...can she?" Mai said.

Sen nodded. "She has to be. After all, we chose her."

Jareth held the crystal before him. 'Please...let her choose me.' He thought desperately. "Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." He said wistfully.

Sen and Mai looked at each other, Mai handed Sen ten bucks.

Sarah looked up at him. 'No. Even if I could stay, I wouldn't want him like that.' She looked deeply into his eyes and spoke the words that lied within her heart. "You have no power over me." She whispered. She didn't want it like this.

The look in Jareths eyes as he tossed the crystal, nearly changed her resolve. 'Forgive me.' She thought.

Sen and Mai's cage disappeared as the crystal burst, they sat staring at each other.

Mai's eyes overflowed with tears.

Sen looked thoughtfully into the crystal. "So who's heart shattered? I can't really tell." She said.

Mai's response was, "Both."

Author's notes: WOO HOO ten bucks! Three guesses as to why Sen's not crying...that's right...ten bucks.

Chapter Seven: The second try

With the twins attempt at softening there fathers heart, they only made it more callous. Old wounds combined with new ones to leave his soul a tangled mess.

But all was not lost, for even though their father had been hurt, a part of him still needed those emerald eyes to look upon him.

For six years he lied in wait, for the time to come when he could re-claim his true mate.

And on the sixth anniversary of his defeat, he smiled, at the exact same time his daughters did. "It's time." All three of them whispered in unison. Even if they were in completely different places.

Sarah shivered as she walked through the cool winter air. It had been six years to the day since she had him look upon her. 'Damn it!' She thought angrily. 'It's been six years, why can't he leave me be?' She thought to herself.

Within those six years, many things had occurred to bury the dreamer inside of her.

Her Dad and Step-monster had died, leaving their four-year-old in the care of an eighteen-year-old. She had struggled though college to get done early and now had the high position as best-selling author in the world. She wrote "fictional" stories, all centering around the Goblins and their Kingdom. Her favorite characters being the gallant fox, the monstrous friend, and the plastic loving dwarf.

It had all started when her English professor had gotten a hold of one of her scribbling; he had then sent them to his editor friend, and thus had begun the wonderful tales of the Underground.

She had briefly worried about plagiarizing from the Labyrinth, but no one had ever heard of it. Not even the library she had checked it out from.

So she was now living in a beautiful cottage resting next to the legendary Black Forest.

One day while she picking herbs from the Black Forest, she came across a young girl. She was beautiful, with flowers twining through her hair, and ears that pointed through the silken locks. Unfortunately...she was drowning.

Sarah dropped her basket and dove into the lake; she grabbed the girl and struggled towards the shore. It seemed like something was holding the girl.

Sarah kicked at the object and felt the girl break free; she coughed as she dragged the girl to shore.

Sarah quickly felt the little girl, checking for any wounds. "Oh good, you're not hurt." She said quietly. She looked closely at the, now unconscious, girl.

She looked to be from the gypsies that lived in the forest. Sarah had heard rumors of their eccentricities, and of their fierce protectiveness.

"Well, I better get you back home." She said, lifting the girl into her arms and striding towards the Gypsy camp. She scooped her basket up on the way.

Everyone knew where the Gypsies lived, but only so they could keep well away from them. But the little girl's parents had to be worried about her, so she walked on. Unmindful of the tales she had heard in the local pub.

When she reached the encampment she was immediately surrounded by very pissed-off Gypsies.

A very beautiful woman stepped forward and thrust her sword under Sarah's chin. "Unhand my daughter." She said between clenched teeth.

Sarah gulped. "I would if I was sure she wouldn't hurt herself, she's passed out." She said slowly.

The woman glared, but lowered her sword. "And what did you do to my daughter to make her thus?" She said eloquently.

The Gypsy circle closed in.

Sarah gulped but stood her ground. "I saved her life." She said simply.

She felt the little girl wake up within her arms. "Momma!" She exclaimed.

The woman's face gentled, and she held her arms out to her daughter, her sword forgotten on the ground. "Rashel." She said warmly.

The little girl jumped into her mothers arms. "The Sylkie almost had me, but the pretty lady kicked it." She said sleepily.

The woman looked up at Sarah in shock. "You kicked...a Sylkie?" She asked incredulously.

Sarah cocked her head. "Was that what that was?" She asked innocently.

The woman threw her head back and laughed full heartedly. The surrounding Gypsies relaxed, and stepped back.  
Sarah sighed with relief.

The woman looked at her appraisingly and smiled. "We are in your debt."

Sarah quickly shook her head. "Oh no-no. See, I have a little brother, and I would die if anything happened to him." She said, trying to explain her actions.

The woman smiled and took her hand. "You are a brave soul." Here the woman looked at their joined hands, "And not untouched by magic." She said assessing.

Sarah jerked her hand away. "How did you-" She was cut off by the woman changing.

Her once dull brown hair flowed into a silken river. Her eyes shined silver and her ears grew to an unnatural point. "We are of the Black Crystal clan." Here she pulled out a ceremonial dagger, made of obsidian. "I am the chieftess, Seraphim. This is my daughter Rashel." Seraphim drew the dagger across her palm, blood welled from the cut. "We welcome you into our clan, as our Sister." She grabbed Sarah's hand and cut.

Seraphim then joined their hands, and Sarah felt the magick close around her.

When the process was finished Sarah felt trepidation. "Ummm...what just happened?" She asked cautiously.

Seraphim grinned. "You are our Sister. Your voice shall be heard among our people for all time."

Sarah sighed. "All time? Won't that be hard? I mean I am mortal..." At Seraphim's grin, Sarah began to sweat. "Right?"

Seraphim shook her head. "Not any more shall mortal problems trouble you. You are of my blood, and shall be forever young."

A great cheer rose up from the surrounding Gypsies, and Sarah was swept up into the encampment.

Sarah smiled as she thought back to that day, when she had become one with the Black Crystal clan. Their ways were odd, but very honorable. They were like one big Italian family.

When Seraphim had remembered Sarah's brother, she had introduced him to the clan, and welcomed into their arms. She had turned to Sarah then and said, "We know what it is like to raise one so young without clan, so whatever you shall need is yours."

Tears had filled Sarah's jade eyes, and she had embraced the Elf.

Seraphim had stiffened in surprise, but slowly returned the hug.

Now, Sarah was walking home from the pub, and wished that her life was complete. She felt completely blessed by the clan of the black crystal, but there was a hole in the spot of her soul. Unfortunately, the only person who could fill that hole was an evil, conniving, DRAG QUEEN! I mean, purple tights, give me a break.

As Sarah opened the door to her house, she sensed something was wrong. Immediately Toby popped up in her mind.

"Toby?"

Only a faint laugh and a smack replied.

"Who ever you are, give him back. I didn't fucking say the words, be-otch."

Sen and Mai thought at the same time, 'yummy, finally she has gotten some backbone.'

Mai stepped out of the shadows, smiling deviously, with Toby holding her hand, with his eyes glazed over. Don't worry he isn't drugged, just sleepy, Sarah doesn't know that though...

"Give Toby back... now"

"Oh, Honey, you know the rules. You have to come and get him, just like before." Sen said, stepping halfway out of the shadows.

"Jareth?!" Sarah said, looking at the long blond hair and the shadowed face.

"Ew, I do not look like that testosterone filled drag queen." A female voice replied out of that face of shadows.

The redhead turned, "Uh, yeah you do."

"Shut up! I am way prettier than him! And my hair isn't cut like that at all!"

The redhead replied, "That is because you are a girl."

Sarah gathered up her strength and lunged towards Toby but she seemed to hit the floor where he once stood. The girls had disappeared.

"And remember, Toby will be in the Underground with us." The voices floated out of the air in front of the door before it closed.

Sarah sobbed with relief as the lights of the Black Crystal clan came into view. She burst into the encampment, and grabbed the nearest elf.

"Take me to Seraphim...NOW!" She growled at him. The elf nodded and guided her to the Mother's tent.

"She is in there." The elf said, and then tore out of their like a bat out of hell.

Sarah sighed and walked through the cover. "Seraphim." She called as she entered.

The raven-haired elf sat in the middle of the "living room". "What do you need, Sarah?" Seraphim asked.

Sarah sighed and sat down in front of her. "Someone's taken Toby." She said quietly.

Seraphim's eyes shot open, blazing fury. "Who." Was all that could pass through her clenched teeth.

Sarah shook her head. "Two girls, one with red-hair, and another with blond. The blond looked like the Goblin King." She said quickly.

Seraphim sucked in a breath. "I know those who you have described." She said haltingly.

Sarah felt a sense of dread fill her. "But?" She asked.

Seraphim sighed. "But, we cannot help you with them. They are beyond our power." A calculating gleam filled her silver eyes. "But I know of someone who can."

Sarah sighed with relief. "Who?" She asked hopefully.

Seraphim stood up. "I'm going to get you some tea." She said and quickly left. 'I will not allow them to harm the child...no matter the cost.'

Sarah sat there stunned, but before she could recoup, a sudden blur of elf ran into the tent.

Next thing she knew, she was looking into the cat-green eyes. A warmth on her upper thighs suggested where his hands were.

"Hello Sarah." Sean purred, his nose only centimeters from hers. "I felt some great magic coming..." Here he stopped and licked his lips. "off of your house." His thumbs started to massage her thighs. "What have you been up to?"

Sarah sucked in a breath. "Hi Sean...please stop." She said breathlessly.

Sean leaned in a little more and kissed her nose. "As you wish." He then sat back.

Sarah gasped for breath and fanned herself. "I will never get used to you." She said haltingly.

Sean smirked. "Well, we have all night." He said suggestively.

Sarah sighed. "No, Sean, we don't."

"What happened?" He asked, suddenly Big Brother.

"Someone took Toby." She whispered.

"Who?"

"Two women, one who looked like the Goblin King."

Sean's face clouded over. "Does Seraphim know?" He asked.

Sarah nodded. "She told me that she knew someone who could help, but then went for tea."

Sean cursed. "Oh Fuck!" He then strode out of the tent.

Sarah looked at the entrance. "They have a penchant for leaving a guest guessing." She said massaging her thighs.

We love Sean! OMFG is he great! It was kind of funny how he happened. Sen in obsessed with really hot boys and she said that we needed to have one... beyond the everyday ones! So you will see out sexy Sean popping up every now and then! Love ya, and keep reading!

Chapter Eight... Jareth pissed with little people things... yeah

Sean burst though the tent flaps only to see Seraphim shadowing the fading light of the orb. His breath caught in his throat as the image of King Olaf faded.

"Oh, dear Goddess... what have you done?" He whispered to her back.

She turned to him, "I have ensured the safety of one of our own." And she passed him to walk out of the tent.

"Shit."

Sarah was sneaking behind the tent and slowly found her way back into the forest. It was still slightly cold but that was only half of it. The other thing that was chilling her was what she knew she had to do.

"What was I thinking involving them... I know the only one who can help me is him." She mumbled to herself, ignoring the little shiver of excitement that ran though her with the thought of him.

"I'm quite sure I do not know what you are talking about, Olaf," Jareth said coolly. He reclined even further into his throne, wishing he knew what kind of crack his enemy was on.

"You know exactly what I'm speaking of, Jareth. Two of your minions took one of my people hostages, and since it was a child, you must know about it, considering your line of work." Olaf replied, with a rather exotic beauty behind him and an ugly little twit of a man, who seemed to attach himself to Olaf's side.

Jareth sighed and cursed under his breath. 'Why am I endlessly assaulted by these idiots?' He asked himself.

Olaf's face got red. "Jareth! How dare you ignore me!" He thundered, spittle falling onto the crystal, the twit had hold of the King's shoulder, seeming to restrain him.

"I don't know of any child, and anyway, how do you know they were my minions?" He challenged.

The beauty chose then to speak. Her voice ringing like smooth glass, "They were not just your minions, Highness, they were your daughters."

Jareth felt dread coil in his gut. "How do you know this, Lovely?" He asked suggestively.

The beauty stiffened in affront. "I know this because one of them looked like you...with breasts." She said sharply.

Jareth shot up. "That would be Sen..." He thought about this for a moment then... "Just one moment."

He created another crystal and bellowed, "SEN, MAI! GET YOUR TROUBLESOME ASSES OVER HERE!"

A tiny little bubble appeared and inside stood two miniature versions of his daughters. "Hi! We're Sen," Mini-Sen said, Mini-Mai continued, "And Mai!" Then they spoke in unison, "We're not in right now, so if you would like to leave-"

They were cut off by their sudden implosion. Little bits of glitter and midget entrails floated down, like obscene party favors.

Jareth sighed and turned back to the irate King. "I'm deeply sorry for my daughter's impetuousness. They are not to be found at the moment, but rest assured," His eyes turned artic blue. "They WILL be dealt with, and the child will be returned as quickly as possible, maybe with a few...gifts." With that he cut off the connection and got up to look for his daughters.

Just as he was exiting the throne room a voice called out. "Damn, have to see to this." He said and turned to his owl form, and flew towards the summoner.

"Well...this is unexpected." Jareth's voice floated out of the darkness. Sarah whipped around and looked into his brown and blue eyes. Her hand connected to his face.

"Where is he, you panty-hose wearing bastard!" She demanded green eyes flashing.

Jareth glared. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about." He said clutching his cheek. "That hurt."

Sarah snorted. "Of course you don't" She said sarcastically. "Why would you know about kidnapped babies."

Jareth paused. "Wait a minute...this sounds familiar...was Jareth Jr. stolen?" He asked.

Sarah looked confused. "Who the hell is Jareth Jr.?"

"I-I mean....ummm...Toby!" He Said quickly.

Sarah shrugged it off. "Whatever, where's Toby?"

Jareth looked deep into her eyes. "Sarah... I know who took him, it wasn't me."

Sarah sighed. "Well, if wasn't you ..then who was it? You're cousin?" She asked tiredly.

Jareth jumped on it. "Yes! My cousins...yeah...they took him...because their evil and stuff." Jareth kicked himself, 'Damnit! Now she thinks their related to me!'

Sarah grinned in triumph. "I knew it! One looked just like you...except...with breasts. Also...she was evil!"

Jareth slumped. "You think I'm evil?" He asked.

Sarah looked at him in disbelief. "Of course, you steal little babies."

Jareth shook his head, "We don't have time for this...so let's go and find Jar...Toby." He waved his hand and they were in the Goblin Castle. As he looked upon Sarah's shocked face he grinned. "You won't escape me this time." He whispered to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Nanna glanced at the fair-haired boy in front of her, and then turned back to her granddaughters. "What…have you done?" She asked slowly, confusion showing on her face.

Mai sighed and pointed to Sen. "It was her idea." She said.

Sen grinned evilly. "Our plan, Granny, might not have worked before but it will this time." She said with an evil chuckle.

Mai summoned a glitter web, inside of which, Sarah and Jareth were shown…talking, even cooperating.

Nanna grinned. "Well, if there was any question about you two being my grandbabies, it's moot now. No one but our family could have come up with something like this."

At that instant, Tyron came in with a little rubber ducky, with horns. "Here Toby, I made this just for you." He said with a gamine grin.

Fear blossomed in the women's eyes. "NO!" They shouted.

Tyron reeled back, just in time to, since the rubber duckie squeaked and exploded. Toby laughed, as Grandma wiped the soot of her face. "Grandpa exploded…cool…can you teach me that?" He asked running up to Tyron.

The girls swooned. "So..cute…" Sen said, "It's like claw your eyes out cute."

Nanna sighed. "No Toby…he won't teach you."

Toby whirled around and did the worst thing imaginable. He did the puppy-dog face. "Pweaseeeeeee?" He said grabbing on to her skirt.

There was a spasm from the heap that was the girls. "Not the puppy face." Came Mai's agonized groan.

Nanna fell into a puddle of skirts and glitter. "Damn..too cute…o-kay, you can learn. After all, you'll be a King someday if my girls' plan works." She said softly.

Toby whooped and in a blink of gun powder both he and Tyron were gone.

Sen and Mai extracted themselves form each other. "But…I thought he was going to stay with us." Sen whined.

Nanna smiled sweetly. "But he'll be more hidden if he's with Tyron."

Mai nodded and Sen blubbered. "But…the cuteness." She said sadly.

Mai hit her head. "Yeah, yeah…we know. But at least we won't be distracted." She said in a no-nonsense tone.

Hoggle's brow furrowed in worry…well, that was putting it mildly. "Oh-me, oh-my…why does this always happen to me?" He asked, fidgeting in the King's throne. This always happened. Every time Sarah got involved in the Labyrinth, Hoggle was forced to do something brave. It was inevitable, and Hoggle had already come to terms with that. He just never thought that that something would be to sit in front of the High Council of the Underground and defend His Majesties actions.

"Olaf," Matilda said patiently. "what proof do you have? After all, a war is a serious consequence."

Olaf swelled with rage. "A consequence?" He said dangerously. "One that is rightly deserved! He stole one of my own!" He raged.

Matilda yawned, further infuriating the enraged King. "Yes, you have said that before, yet you have provided this council with neither proof nor a witness."

Olaf turned purple in rage. "Fine, if the council is to blind to see that I have been wronged, than I succeed from the Underground Alliance!" He turned and stormed out of the Hall of Dreams.

The rest of the council looked at Matilda. "Well, this is going to be interesting." She said helpfully, Hoggle fainted.

The rest of the council chuckled, after all they didn't get a seat there for being worry-worts over something so insignificant as a war. Matilda smiled, and looked at Hoggle. "Well, at least he didn't have to say anything." She said as she whisked him back to Jareth's kingdom.

Sarah sighed as she rested on a rather large boulder. "How did I get myself into this?" She asked.

"You called for me." Jareth said as he sat next to her.

Sarah glared at him and scooted away from him, "That may be, but don't go getting any wrong ideas. I'm only here because those cousins of yours said we'd find him here."

Jareth sighed and scratched his head. "Look, just because they are related to me, does not mean that I'm evil too." He said inching closer to her.

Sarah inched away. "Yes it does, I wouldn't be surprised if your whole family was evil."

Jareth looked at the little space Sarah had left on the boulder and grinned. 'Well, if she wants to be onery.' He thought scooting closer to her.

Sarah glared and scooted herself off the boulder. "Damnitt Jareth! You fucking, mother, treater, bitch, lover, GOD!"

Jareth grinned at her incoherent mumbles. "You know, you are cute when you do that." He said sweetly.

Mumbling insued with greater force and a higher vocabulary.

"I swear, once we're through with this, I will castrate you." She said quietly.

"What about our children?" Jareth mumbled under his breath.

Sarah looked at him as she stood up. "What did you say?" She growled threatingly.

Before Jareth could reply, a crystal ball rolled into the glen.

A picture started to form above it. "Hi y'all!" Mai drawled as she looked form Jareth to Sarah with a grin.

Sarah lunged at the picture, and passed right through it.

"Y'know, you tried that last time and it didn't work, what about now has changed? Nothing." Sen said as she too appeared.

Sarah growled and stalked back to Jareth, dusting the grass off her bum. "Never hurts to try." She grumbled.

Jareth just smiled at her and then turned to glare at his two errant daughters. "Well, we're here. What do you want?" He asked icily.

Mai shivered and Sen brought out Shaft. "Begone, begone!"

Mai coughed, but stood her ground. Ping hovered over her misstress's shoulder. "We want you two to go and collect six of the sacred limes from deep within the Labyrinth, guarded by the Giant Queens of the Underground."

Jareth pailed, but then fury stained his face red. "You want us to get LIMES!" He bellowed.

Sen exclaimed, "O-kay, Shaft your bladder is not that big! I will never understand how you can manage to piss that much! I mean you went to the bathroom before we left."

Mai sighed as she stepped in front of her piss-soaked sister. Her glare met and beat Jareth's with it's coldness. "Yes, limes…and don't even try to get out of it. If you do, you'll never see the little darling again."

Jareth opened his mouth to retort, but Sarah's hand on his arm stopped him. He gulped as he looked down into her soulful green eyes. "Please, I want Toby back." She said softly.

Jareth sighed and shook his head. "Fine…" He grumbled.

Mai smiled and nodded happily. "Good! You might as well get started now, Jareth knows the way… by heart." She said as the image faded.

Sarah looked at Jareth curiously, but he just growled and grabbed her hand, ignoring the thrill that ran up his arm, dragging her towards a newly formed path.

Chapter Nine: The Giant Queens of the Underground

Author's note: This chapter is dedicated to Sen's older brother, may he continue to reign above us mere women. "Takes more guts to wear a dress for an hour, than a suit for a lifetime." – Emit from Queer as Folk.

"Jareth, Daaaaaarrrrrrling! How are you? It's been ages!" A very beautiful deep voice said from behind a thick oak door.

Sarah fidgeted as she looked around. They had walked for what seemed like ages until they came up to a very…unique…castle.

It looked like a normal castle from far away, it was only when you came up close could you see the difference. It was subtle, but there were certain touches that made it look different than your average fortress. Maybe it was the pink trim, or the thick velvet flags.

Sarah turned her attention back to Jareth and nearly laughed at how tense he was. 'I wonder what has him so bothered.' She thought as the door was flung open and a large, but beautiful woman stepped out and swept Jareth into a bear hug.

"Oh! I've missed you soooooo much!" The woman exclaimed as she hugged the life out of Jareth.

"Hi…Godiva…can you…uh…let me go?" Jareth said between gasps.

Godiva chuckled and then caught sight of Sarah. "Oh my! And who is this little chick-a-dee?" She asked sweetly.

Sarah smiled, she had a feeling se was going to like this place. "I'm Sarah…"

Godiva's delighted gasp stopped her from continuing. "Sarah! As in the Sarah that defeated snookums here? Oh Darling! I thought you'd have bad taste, but I was wrong if you're here with hot-pants!" She said happily, clapping her big hands together. Her nails looked like ten large joust sticks, really sharp joust sticks.

"You simply must come inside! The girls have all been dying to meet you." And with that Godiva swept them inside a velvet and chiffon paradise.

Meanwhile, in the Elvin Kingdom, Olaf sat with his counselors.  
"Milord! You most reconsider! The Kingdoms have not been at war with each other in over a millennia!" One of his advisors exclaimed.

Said advisor had his head chopped off. "I do not care how long ago the last war was! All I care about is getting my revenge! The Fae have mocked the Elves for far too long, and we have just stood by! No more! We will have our revenge!" He roared.

The counselors sat back and looked at each other uneasily, than at the body, and then slowly nodded their heads in agreement. "Yes, milord." They murmured respectfully.

"Speaking of armies," Simon, the Kings most trusted advisor chimed in, "I have the perfect Generals for you. They have been controlling your armies from the west, and have done an admirable job at training your soldiers, My King." He said with a deep bow.

Olaf frowned in thought. "I do not know, My Generals here are more than enough…" He was cut off as Simon laid his hands on the Kings arm.

"Really, milord, they are the most suitable for this campaign. Trust me." He said as his grip tightened on the King's arm.

The King's eyes went dull. "Yes, most suitable." Simon released the King's arm and some life went back into his eyes, "I must meet with them first but I do believe they would be a worthy contribution to the campaign."

"No need to wait, Milord, they are ready to speak with you now," Then he added as an afterthought, "As well as the council."

Simon walked toward the door and whispered though the opening. He turned back to the group of council members, "May I introduce to you, My lords, General Duce and General Blade."

In walked two storms of black cloth and glinting armor. Their long legs brought them swiftly to the foot of council's table. There they bowed and intoned in unison, "My Liege," Their deep voices sent a shiver of fear throughout the council members.

The king smiled, "Please stand."

They did. And as this happened their eyes met the king. Green and Red met and over powered hazy silver as well as every other man who happened to glance their way. Simon's eyes where averted. He seemed to be speaking to the dust bunnies on the floor.

The King's face seemed to be stuck in that smile of his, his mouth barely moving as the slow whisper came out.

"I believe that you two generals will be a wonderful contribution to this campaign of ours. You may begin your training of my armies."

Their armor clad faces showed no emotion but their eyes seemed to be laughing, at what, they did not know. The council had a sneaking suspicions that they where not thinking of pleasant things.

"Sweetheart, may I ask why you have come here? I mean, I know you love us and all, but with you, Jareth, there is always an ulterior motive."

Sarah and Jareth where seated on a bright pink fuzzy couch that seemed to drag you into its fluffy depths. They stared at the giantess before them named Godiva. Sarah smiled even though she missed Toby. This woman was a great person, she could tell. She would have to add her into one of her stories when she got home.

"Yes, Godiva, I have come here for something… your limes." Jareth said looking at her with a smile that was so incredibly fake, he seemed to look like Barbie. Sarah glanced at his hands that seemed to shake with effort.

The giantess gasped, "You want me limes? But why?" She said clutching her chest.

"Well…" Jareth started to say but was cut off.

"Why do you want MY limes when you have her limes all to your greedy little self! I know I'm more endowed that her but still, she is your girlfriend!" Godiva ranted.

"No, that's not… STOP TALKING! Goodness Godiva, not those limes!" Jareth burst out.

"Then, what limes do you speak of?" She asked.

"You know, your magic limes, the ones you are here to protect." He sighed exasperated.

The Queens eyes grew round, "THOSE limes? How many?"

"six" Sarah said.

Godiva looked lost in thought but then grinned, "Six limes is quite a bit to ask for… it will need a fair price indeed."

Jareth paled, "What would that be?"

The Queen grinned even more, "Just one hour," She said smiling, "Alone, with Mr. Hot-pantyhose, to do whatever I wish…" Then she looked over at Sarah and added, "Don't worry honey, I wont do anything you don't approve of."

Jareth glared at Godiva, "NO WAY!..." He was going to say more but the soft touch of Sarah's hand pressed yet again on his arm. He slowly turned to her, knowing what he was to see.

Her green eyes sparkled with unshed tears, "But , Jareth, we have to… for Toby." Godiva could see straight through Sarah's little act, but it seemed to fool Jareth.

Jareth tried to resist those wide green orbs, but he couldn't. His once stone heart began to crumble and he weakened. "But…you don't know what she'll do to me." He said as a last attempt to stop what he knew to be inevitable.

Sarah pouted, and tears glistened in her eyes. "I know Jareth, but if you don't go with her…sniff…than…sniff…I won't ever see Toby again!" Sarah said.

Jareth cursed under his breath as her lip started to quiver. "Fine…one hour…" He said with a doomsday finality.

Godiva smiled and gestured to her maids. "Take him to my room, and prepare him for those garments I made for him last month." She said as they surrounded him and whisked him away.

"Well, now that hotpants is gone, let me ask you something darling." She said turning away from the whimpering Jareth towards Sarah. "Are you one of…uh…our kind?" She said delicately,

Sarah looked at her in confusion. "You mean a Giant?" She asked.

Godiva shook her head. "No, I mean…do you dress in women's clothes for…fun?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, why would you want to dress like a man?" She asked confusion still clear in her eyes.

Godiva laughed. "No, I mean are you…" She smiled. "You must know dear…we are not just Queens." She continued. "We are, as you say in the Aboveground, Drag-Queens."

Sarah's eyes grew as understanding sunk in. "Oh! Oh! You're a drag-queen!" She exclaimed. Then she laughed at her own naiveté. "I thought you were a real woman!"

Godiva chuckled. "But darling, I am a real woman." She said haughtily. "Well, as real as I can get." She added with a wicked grin.

Sarah smiled. "Well, you certainly had me fooled. I never once thought you were really a man." She said happily.

Godiva smiled down at her. "Oh honey, you are so cute."

Sarah grinned. "Well ,Godiva, I gave you permission to do whatever you wish with Jareth, as long as he disapproves." She said with an evil grin.

Godiva threw back her head and laughed. "Oh darling, he'll always disapprove. You see…he's a Homo-phobe." She said softly.

Sarah's grin widened. "Then by all means, attempt to make him learn the ways of the Drag-Queen."

AUTHORS NOTE: w00t! We love Godiva! Love her with a passion! I hope you will enjoy this little quest. Free love for the first to figure out what they're going to get! REVIEW! Give us some freaking feedback! GRRR! If you don't we shall… unleash evil parrots upon your ass and they shall scream in your ears until you WRITE A RESPONSE! Ahem…. READ MORE….

Back at the capital of the Underground, Matilda smiled at the joyous looks upon her grand-babies faces. "Yes, that means that you two are now my Generals. You have complete control over the entire Untied Armies! Or the U.A.U for short." She said as an afterthought.

Mai smiled, while Sen screamed with joy. "Yay! Finally, we've got lots of dollies!" She said creepily.

Mai glanced at her. "You do realize that these are actual living beings?" She said slowly.

Sen grinned maliciously at her. "Oh, I know! That's what makes it so much fun!" She said, whipping out a boom box from the Netherworld and racing towards the Lists.

Mai sighed and bowed to her Nanna, before following her crazed sister. "Thank you, Nanna."

Matilda sighed as she looked at their retreating backs. "Ahhh, the sweet smell of blood is soon to be in the air. Such a shame that I'm too old to fight in the front lines." She said softly. She turned to the black curtain behind her. "Tyron sweetie, how are the bombs coming along?"

"Just fine dumpling!" He replied, which was soon followed by a loud explosion, and high giggle from Toby.

"Grandpa went Boom!" He said sweetly.

Matilda threw back her head and laughed. She hadn't had this much fun in centuries.

"All right! You lazy bunch-of-maggots! Line-up!" A loud masculine voice boomed throughout the Lists.

All of the men stiffened and came to attention.

They all watched in apprehension as two warriors came striding towards them.

They were both tall, and wore full-body armor that hid their faces. The men were almost blinded as the rays of the sun reflected off their well-polished metal. Two wicked looking swords hang delicately at their sides.

"O-kay! Let the fun begin!" The second one said setting down a dark object on the ground. Bending over, he flicked a switch and out came Mulan's: "I'll make a man out of you!"

As soon as the music picked up a beat, the second General threw off his armor to reveal a grinning Sen underneath. "Hiya boys." She said with a wink and grin.

The first General hit his head and then took off the helmet hiding his face. Underneath was the irritated face of Mai. "You dumb-ass! There was a reason we hid our gender!" She said slapping Sen into a different mood.

Sen immediately lost the grin and snapped at the men, "Well, what are you looking at! Drop down and give me fifty!" She bellowed.

Mai shook her head and grumbled, "You bi-polar S.O.B."

The men looked at each other nervously, but dropped down and started doing push-ups. They had no idea what to expect, but if the stories they had heard from the Goblin City were true, it was going to be a wild ride.


	3. Chapter Ten or three

Chapter Ten: WTF Mate!

"Oh. My. God!" Sarah said as she erupted into giggles.

"Oh I know darling," Godiva intoned. "But he does look good, doesn't he?" She said happily.

Jareth glared at both of them as he adjusted his form-fitting, sequin-lined, white formal gown. He looked like a god-damned bride! "Well, that's all well and good, now take it off." He said sharply.

Godiva chuckled. "Oh but darling, I don't think I'm the one to take it off you." She said seductively.

Jareth looked at Godiva. "And what, precisely, do you mean by that?" He asked softly.

Godiva grinned. "It's a charmed dress, darling. Only the one you are are…" Godiva leaned down and whispered the rest into Jareth's ear.

His eyes widened and then narrowed as they fell upon Sarah. "Allright. Sarah, come undress me."

Sarah stoped laughing. "What? Did I hear you right? If I did, no fucking way!" She said stonily.

Jareth pulled out the puppy dog face. "But it's enchanted! And the only one that can take it off is the one I haven't slept with!" He said pleadingly.

Godiva laughed as Sarah glanced between them with wide eyes. "You mean…"

Jareth interpreted her look and gestured furiously. "NO! Not us! I mean someone of the opposite sex!"

Godiva ruffled. "I am of the opposite sex." She said indignantly.

Sarah nodded and smiled. "There, you see. Godiva can undress you." She said happily.

Godiva shook her head. "NO, I cannot. I put the dress on him. I cannot take it off." She glanced at Jareth and leaned down to whisper, "I don't think your lie is working."

Jareth elbowed her stomach. "Hush." He said as he walked up to Sarah. He gritted his teeth as he heard his giant platform shoes clack on the ground. "Sarah, for the love of all that is good and worthy in your world! You don't have to look, and I do have clothes on underneath this." He lied smoothly.

Sarah seemed unsure but when he leaned into her and whispered, "Remember Toby." She set upon him.

"All right! Lets get you stripped." She said as she pulled off the dress, than the petticoats, and then the slip. In under a minute he was as naked as the day he was born. "Hey! You said you had clothes on!" She said angrily, clapping a hand over her eyes.

Jareth grinned and gestured, his normal clothes immediately appeared on him. "I did…you took them off of me." He said with a lavicious grin.

Sarah blushed and glared at him. "Just get the limes and lets get out of here!" She said threateningly.

Godiva gestured and six humongous, purple limes appeared. "Here you are darlings. Just as we agreed."

Sarah's eyes were huge as she looked up at the limes. "Wow! No wonder Giants had to guard them." She said, then she looked at Jareth. "How are we supposed to carry those?" She asked.

"No worries! We'll take care of that!" Mai said as she appeared on one. She turned to Godiva and winked. "Thank you, Your Majesty! We'll be taking these." And with a swoosh and a bang the limes and Mai disappeared in a blast of glitter.

Sarah and Jareth were still in shock when Godiva swept them out of the castle and into the surrounding forest. "Good-bye darlings! And do stop by again!" She said as the castle doors closed with a bang.

"Well, you succeeded in that mission." Sens voice from behind snapped them out of their stupors.

They whipped around and glared. "What the hell was that!" Sarah demanded. "You didn't even need us! All you had to do was get them yourselves."

Sen nodded. "Yup, but it's so much more fun if you two get them for us!" She said with a grin. " But enough with the chit-chat. On to your next mission."

"Wait! You said that you would give Toby back after we got the limes!" Sarah exclaimed.

Sen cocked her head to the side. "When did we say that? We said that you would never see him again if you didn't do as we say." She said primly.

Jareth sighed and rubbed his head. "Great! I had forgotten how good they were with twisting their words." He said.

"Oh daddy! Don't be so bitchy!" Sen said happily. "I think you'll like your next mission, or at least, it will like you…a lot. You are too get the blessed salt from underneath the Lake of forgotten loves. You have a week! Bye!" She said and disappeared.

Sarah looked at Jareth. "Daddy?"

Meanwhile, on a similar training ground in a darker kingdom, soldiers were training their asses off. Two generals scouted the off-skirts of the grounds.

At intervals they would shout out "encouraging" phrases. "You are not a unique little snowflake. You are all made of the same deteriorating matter as everything else."

As they watched the men work, they met each others eyes. Green and Red shone with satisfaction as their men grew ever more increasingly blood thirsty.

Jareth smiled as he saw the lake in sight. "Ah, here we are at last." He said happily.

An irate Sarah stomped behind him. "Jareth! Stop avoiding the question! What the hell did she mean by Daddy?" She yelled as she halted in front of the lake.

Jareth's eyes widened as he tried to look innocent. "It's like Toby calling you mommy! I'm the only real father figure those girls have had." He said sweetly.

Sarah grew even more pissed. "Toby doesn't call me mommy. He is well aware of our relationship." She said backing up.

Jareth shook his head, but then tried to stop her as he realized where she was going. "Sarah, please stop. If you go any farther…"

Too late, Sarah fell into the lake with a loud splash, Jareth dived in after her.

'Great! Now we are both going to die.' He thought before he was overcome with the memory of losing her.

Sarah felt the tears float away into the lake as she was taken back to that moment six-years-ago when her heart shattered.


End file.
